Friday, October 12, 2007

The Culture War Is Real

By: End Marriage Prohibition

Bill O'Reilly is finally right about something! There really is an ongoing culture war being waged in America. According to O'Reilly, the values of White, heterosexual, Christian, business-owning, republican, male, NASCAR fans are constantly being assaulted by gay, femi-nazi, tree-hugging, secular progressives (a.k.a. a bunch of Hippies). And while their may be different types of people here, no group of people will ever change the other. Blacks will never get Whites to change their color. Heterosexuals can't "cure" gays. Tops make horrible Bottoms and Jews can't unkill Jesus. In other words, no matter how diverse we remain our culture will not suffer. If anything, diversity just adds flavor.

The real war on culture comes from what adversely affects every single one of us regardless of race, religious preference, sexual orientation, nationality, sex or gender identity. What morphs us from loving, imaginative children into apathetic, slogan-reciting monsters? There is only one common threat that hurts all people. Ads. Commercials and billboards intentionally seek to undermine our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness by redefining what it means to live a free and happy life.

Bill O'Reilly, who makes a killing from commercial ads, wants us to believe that tolerance, power-sharing, equality and diversity are the greatest threats to America. That is where O'Reilly is wrong. That is like saying war is fought with pizza, artwork and good music. Women demanding and getting equal pay for equal work won't destroy our way of life. However, girls being raised to believe they should look like Barbie may become anorexic, depressed or even suicidal.

The real threat comes from how we are developed to be the perfect consumer. My gay marriage will not cause your parents to divorce. Yet the mainstream media (a.k.a. the Theater of All that is Absurd) only focuses on these types of frivolous issues as opposed to the real issues that deserve our attention.

When children are misled into believing Barbie has the ideal figure then our culture is under attack. By the way, it was determined that it is physically impossible for Humans to look like Barbie. Women would have to be 6'5" and surgically altered in order to look like that. When people truly believe Britney Spears looks fat then you know our culture has been successfully distorted.

Bill O'Reilly is right about there being culture war ravaging America, but it has nothing to do with Mexicans speaking Spanish or gays getting married. This war is about people learning to become apathetic jerks with severely distorted views and opinions.

So what can we do? How do we become a real cultural warrior? Stay tuned for Part 2 after a few words from our sponsors...


Anonymous said...

Barbie, eat my ass!

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