Average Kentuckian Values Fairness

By: James-Clifton Spires

My work, which is with a private contractor that answers telephone calls for various U.S. government agencies, has allowed me to conduct initial telephone background checks on firearms purchases, assist people looking and applying for government grants, and help federal employees with their travel arrangements.

My co-workers and I have spoken with a wide range of people on these various issues, from country music stars and U.S. senators to pawnbrokers and people on the verge of homelessness.

The type of work we do requires an acceptance of the fact that the job requires us to be anonymous voices answering a telephone, subject to each caller's mood and interpretation of how we sound.

It's somewhat akin to being a voice actor --- you can adapt to a wide range of situations without having to change your appearance or shift your position in your chair. You just have to listen and respond accordingly.

I'm the oldest person, by a few months, in the office bay where I work. I've become aware of the fact that my voice occasionally makes me sound much younger than I am --- some people who call who are close to my own age will refer to me as "young man" --- sometimes in an affectionate manner or sometimes condescendingly, depending upon the nature of the call.

I've had enough speech training over the years to cover the Southeast Ohio Appalachian drawl (filtered through North Carolina and Kentucky) that I've grown up with and affect a neutral-sounding Midwestern accent similar to that used by network news anchors. I've also learned something about letting bits and pieces of regional accent creep in, depending upon the caller and the situation. For the most part, Ah do --- uh, I do --- just fine. I reckon.

As I said, the people who call me, or any other person who answers telephones for a living, only knows what little we give them of ourselves --- the rest is up to their imaginations and their mood when they call. I've had people cry because I sounded sympathetic, scream because they were in a mood to scream, flirt with me, mother me, threaten me and offer to hire me away just because of the way my voice sounded to them.

None of them know that I'm 57 years old, the father of adult children, shave my head, use Just for Men on my beard, am built like a long-past-his-prime heavyweight contender, or live with a male partner whom I call my husband. They do not know my politics, my religion, whether I can sing like Andrea Bocelli or Roseanne Barr, whether my eyes are blue or my skin is brown or anything else --- unless I tell them.

As a result, our over-the-phone-wires relationships are based on business and mostly first impressions. If I come off as competent, friendly, and helpful, I can usually soothe an angry or distressed or frustrated caller and leave them in a better frame of mind at the end of the call. Not all the time, but most of the time, if I'm doing my job properly.

I've had dissatisfied people ask to speak to my supervisor. I've also had callers ask if they can talk to me specifically if they need to call back again. The good and the bad. It's all based on what our experience was with each other.

Obviously, the good calls are the best ones --- you get a sense that it's going well when the caller starts to joke, tell stories about himself or herself, or gets interested enough into you to ask personal questions. We're trained to keep it light and neutral --- and not reveal too much about one's self or the inner workings of our company.

I've had callers, feeling comfortable with me, assume that I might be "their" kind of people. These folks will volunteer their political affiliations ("I voted for the woman," a brusque Boston accent told me in a call just after the Massachusetts presidential primary) and sometimes their prejudices ("Grants for minorities. Yeah, you can't be white these days if you want government money!").

Occasionally you get clues about someone who is, shall we say, a fellow traveler. "My SPOUSE and I went kayaking and camping in Alaska last year," a business-like female caller told me in a purposeful non sequitor from our discussion of her grant application. (Yeah, I thought. My SPOUSE and I went to Miami last year and ogled some cute gay boys. My gaydar's working on you, too, sister.)

Because our office is located in southeastern Kentucky, a lot of my co-workers are locals whose values (and accents, more often than not) reflect the culture in which they were raised. On the first day of our training class, we were asked to introduce and tell a bit about ourselves. I was one of the first selected to speak and, sticking to a vow I made a few years ago to never again be closeted in the workplace, came out and said that I was the father of adult children and I was on my third marriage to my first husband.

The training class instructor, obviously in new territory with this revelation, took on a tone of false heartiness and said, "Well, we don't have to get TOO personal, here," although I didn't see that what I said was too much different from my co-workers who got up and told about their families, some of which included babies with different daddies.

I figured if there was going to be any backlash from anyone in the class, I'd set up the situation so I could get it out of the way at the beginning. Instead, on our breaks in training, I found different class members coming up to me and whispering, "My brother's gay." "I have a best friend whose family kicked him out." "My husband doesn't know it, but I have a girlfriend." "Do you need a hug, James?" In other words, apparently these southeast Kentuckians' culture included something I, as a relative newcomer to their community, didn't expect: A respect for people's individuality and a willingness to accept and maybe try to identify with someone who different from themselves.

Our class bonded very closely, much like a unit of military recruits who went through the rigors of boot camp together. We struggle with the same work-related issues and know bits and pieces of each others' stories and living situations. People ask me about my husband much in the same way they'll ask someone else about a heterosexual spouse. I'm just James. They're just them. We do our jobs, get along with each other, do our work at the workplace and the rest of our lives in our appropriate elsewheres.

I've found that my co-workers are very much like most of the people who call us for anonymous assistance. What I do with my life before and after work isn't really their concern. It's how we interact together in a professional situation that is important.

My co-workers are typical of the people I've met in Kentucky, for the most part. They may have not traveled widely or been exposed to a lot of different cultural experiences, but they were raised with the basic principle, "Live and let live." They tend not to be involved with politics --- most of them ignore the frothing Fox News coverage, in the company breakroom, of the minutiae of the presidential race. They are religious, but leery of people who are "too religious."

And for the most part, they could care less, unlike certain politicians who cater to the extremist elements of the religious right, about "protecting" the institutions of marriage and the family from homosexual influences. Most people use their energies to focus on their own marriages and would resent anyone else trying to butt in and "help" them, unless they asked for the assistance first.

In other words, the average Kentuckian values fairness. He or she just wants to get along with everyone else and is willing, as most of us have been taught from childhood, to live and let live. Don't interfere with their lives and they won't interfere with yours. Any politician or religious leader who suggests otherwise is either listening to a limited constituency or has never worked in an environment where diversity is respected and valued.

There are all kinds of people in the world, with all kinds of interests and needs. None of us can tell anyone else what's right for him or her --- but what we can do is treat each other with the same courtesy, respect and equality that we want for ourselves.

In God We Trust License Plate

Kentuckians would be able to buy "In God We Trust" license plates under a bill that won unanimous approval Tuesday in the House Transportation Committee. OK, I’m a Christian, but come on…. Isn’t their more important issues? What about in “In Allah We Trust” “In YHWH We Trust” or “In Jehovah We Trust.”

These are all basically the same “God” with different translations and pronunciation. At a minimum, they all sprung from Judaism.

As of 2000, approximately 53% of the world's population identifies with one of the three Abrahamic [term commonly used to designate the three prevalent monotheistic religions—Christianity, Islam, and Judaism which claim Abraham as a part of their sacred history] religions (33% Christian, 20% Islam, <1% Judaism), 6% with Buddhism, 13% with Hinduism, 6% with traditional Chinese religion, 7% with various other religions, and less than 15% as non-religious.

I’m a God loving, and God fearing citizen, but this is a perfect example of why religion and government shouldn’t mix. Sure we use to do it when the Commonwealth and the nation were founded, but this is the 21st Century…. I suppose respect for all religions/translations is still beyond the General Assembly’s capability.

LGBT rights in Kentucky

Want to do something to advance LGBT rights in Kentucky?

Bluegrass Fairness of Central Kentucky and the Kentucky Equality Federation are sponsoring the first LGBT lobby day of this session on February 12; Equality. Fairness. Nothing more, nothing less. This shall be the day we take the fight for equality and fairness directly to our Capitol.

We need your support as the opposition has the voices and numbers that we fail to get to the Capitol. Pro and/or friendly LGBT policies are the minority, but we need to drum enough support to seem like the majority.

We plan on having many guest speakers; including Senator Ernesto Scorsone, Representative Kathy W. Stein, Pastor Cynthia Cain, and Christine Maxwell (former chair of TransKentucky).

We have two exciting events planned for you; you may register for one or both events:

> Speak to your elected officials from 9:00AM - 1:00PM
> Rally in the Capitol Rotunda from 1:00PM - 2:00PM

Click here to register for one or both events!

Show your support by standing united with Kentucky Equality Federation and Bluegrass Fairness of Central Kentucky! Your presence will make a real difference in the fight for equality and fairness for LGBT Kentuckians!

What's at stake?

House Bill 118, the Healthcare Inequality Bill. Public universities and other government agencies would not be allowed to offer health insurance to the unmarried domestic partners of their employees should this bill become law.

House Bill 33. This bill would allow anyone 18 and older to designate a non-blood relative as having hospital room access (such as a same-sex partner).

Senate Bill 55, the non-discrimination bill. Senator Ernesto Scorsone had filed Senate Bill 55 to "to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity."

Equality. Fairness. Nothing more, nothing less!

Why do we need you to stand with us on February 12th? Look at what we are fighting! This comments are from your elected officials!

It's OK to fire someone if they're gay. Historically, homosexuals haven't suffered. - Representative Joseph Fischer (October 2006)

Homosexuality is aberrant behavior. - Senate President David Williams (January 2008)

The University of the Cumberlands stands for what is positive [by expelling a gay student]. - Senate President David Williams (August 2006)

I don't want to entice any of those people [queers] into our state. Those are the wrong kind of people. – Senator Dick Roeding (July 2006)

The Log Cabin Republican Club of Kentucky, a gay GOP group, "are nothing but a bunch of queers." - Senator Dick Roeding (July 2006)

I wouldn't think that there would be a lot of support in the General Assembly for giving benefits to people that were involved in same-sex relationships. Doing so would be bad public policy. - Senate President David Williams (July 2006)

I am committed to protecting traditional marriage. I proudly supported the Same-Sex Marriage Amendment proposal in Kentucky in 2004 and was pleased to see it pass with 74% of the vote. - U.S. Representative Geoff Davis [part of Kentucky’s Congressional delegation] (July 2006)



We need your support as the opposition has the voices and numbers that we fail to get to the Capitol. The sad truth is the opposition is the minority, but have been able to drum up enough voice in the capitol to seem like the majority. Lets make a difference this year; start doing!

Click here to sign-up now, or visit kefaction.org! Join us! Show your support by standing united with Kentucky Equality Federation and Bluegrass Fairness of Central Kentucky! Your presence will make a real difference in the fight for equality and fairness for LGBT Kentuckians!

Stupid, unfounded Homophobia: Kentucky Basketball Fans Outraged Over Photo of Players' Embrace

From The Official Queen of Shade:

If a photo says a thousand words, apparently this seemingly innocent photo of two University of Louisville basketball players embracing has produced thousands of words spewing gay panic.

Hundreds of irate readers have contacted the Louisville Courier-Journal after the publication of the image. It shows Cardinals players Jerry Smith hugging Juan Palacios in the first half of their game against the University of Louisville after a big, emotional play. One reader accused the legendary conservative newspaper of "pushing the homosexual agenda."

Louisville Courier-Journal public editor Pam Platt explains. "Some of the comments registered by angry, offended and/or baffled readers: 'Awful,' 'an embarrassment,' 'horrible decision,' 'poor judgment,' 'distasteful,' 'a mystery' and 'shame on you.' " Then, she nails it: "What is it about two athletes sharing a moment of physical and emotional closeness in the middle of a big game, in the middle of a basketball court, that puts some people off so much?"

Sports fans should be used to witnessing these moments and photos of athletes bonding and it's just beyond the pale that so many (presumably very! straight!) readers would read gay subtext into an innocent sports photo. Platt makes an interesting argument that content is a Rorschach test and people bring "their own ideas and baggage to what they see and read—or what they don't see and don't read into words and images." Or, perhaps, what they would like to see.

Homophobic Senate President Williams sleeping?

I loved this post from Hillbilly Report. Senate President David Williams appears to be sleeping during the State of the Commonwealth Address. Homophobic Senate President Williams lashed out at House Bill 91 that would require schools to formulate a code of "acceptable behavior and discipline that prohibits harassment, intimidation, or bullying of a student."

The House of Representatives passes this bill yearly; but homophic people such as President Williams prevent the bill from ever becoming law..... One might say Williams has "homosexual issues" that he needs to resolve.

Gay man beaten to death - UPDATE

Received this email about updating us about Ricky Williams. You may recall the post "West Virginia gay man being beaten to death ignored by mainstream media."

Like Kentucky, West Virginia was once part of conservative Virginia, but split from them during the middle of the civil war in 1863. The Ricky Williams attack occurred more than 100 miles from Welch, WV (remember in 2006 the police chief blocked paramedics from performing CPR on a gay man because he falsely assumed the man was HIV positive and therefore a health risk).

Click here for a list of gay hate crimes in Kentucky.

Anyway, below is the email we received about this:

You were the only organization to report the Ricky Williams murder in Milton, WV. Of 3 suspects, only 2, the male, Danny Vaughn, was picked up. People are now reporting that they have seen Vaughn in town with one of the females present at the scene of the beating. Vaughn's name is no longer on the jail website. Rumor has it that he was released due to lack of evidence. If that is the case, one can get away with murder in Milton.

A few residents have been trying to seek justice in this horrific "hate" crime. Calls have gone unanswered at the prosecutor's office. Milton city officials have remained mum. Ricky Williams deserves more than this! Can you help? Can you direct us to someone who can?

We are trying to keep the issue alive on a site graciously provided by Stephanie Heck (http://miltonwv.org). Maybe some of your members can help us by posting. The readership averages over 1,300 views per day. We know some city, county and state ppl are reading it. We just can't let Ricky's brutal death be forgotten. Thanks for any help you can offer.

LGBT blogger slams Barack Obama

There are many pieces floating around blogs right now about Barack Obama’s relationship with the LGBT community. Below are exerts from InterstateQ (North Carolina based LGBT blogger). Thoughts?

President Barack Obama? Could it really happen? If so, the LGBT community should be worried. While many may applaud the junior senator from Illinois’ “big tent” approach to his campaign, it is also a strategy that has left the LGBT community standing at odds with forces from the religious right and rabidly anti-gay “ex-gay” movement.

In South Carolina, Obama’s “big tent” campaign strategy coalesced in the form of gospel concerts attracting huge numbers of African-American voters and featuring a “respected leader” in the “ex-gay” movement.

From New Hampshire state Rep. Mo Baxley:
Obama lost the support of many in the LGBT community when he featured [anti-gay] entertainer Donnie McClurking at campaign events in South Carolina and then went ahead with the events even after being personally informed of the entertainers’ very public and virulently anti-gay remarks - making him the only Democratic candidate to be protested by members of our community. While Obama certainly has a pro-LGBT platform, in this circumstance, his actions speak louder than his well-intentioned words and we can not support a candidate that harmed the LGBT community in South Carolina in his quest to become president.

If Obama wins the U.S. presidency the LGBT community is in for four years of being subjected to a dangerously employed “big tent” strategy that places an oppressed group of citizens at the same table as their oppressors. Obama’s presidency would see James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Donnie McClurkin and other anti-gay leaders sitting down with LGBT community leaders telling them how much they are evil while Obama sits back and says, “We should work together and hope for change.”

Obama may not have the courage to stand up to the right-wing bullies if he becomes president, just like he wasn’t able to stand up against them and say, “I’m sorry Donnie, but your views do not match my view of America. My campaign is about one of equality and that isn’t something you stand for. I’ll have to ask that you not perform. I can’t give you a platform for hate.”